he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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