You're so nebulous sometimes
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
