ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
