This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
