matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
