Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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