p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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