ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
