Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon

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(586): View more from Michigan

She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives

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(540): View more from Virginia

For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I will never swim in a flooded basement again..

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(989): View more from Michigan

You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.

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(516): View more from New York

I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper

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