She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
