if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
