do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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