census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
