just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
