Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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