dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
