if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Randomize
