I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
