All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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