Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
