that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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