I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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