He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
