He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
