You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
