i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
