Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
