Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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