Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
