Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
