While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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