**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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