i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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