she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
