Umm I'm too high to move.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
