You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
