Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
