return my video game
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
