My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
