i think my tv is drunk
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
