I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just want nice things and good sex
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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