I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
