The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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