Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
And then he peed in my hair
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