eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
