Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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