Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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