My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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