bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
