im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
