So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
